Being a good friend isn't always easy, but taking the time to nurture a lasting friendship is worth every ounce of effort. As the years pass, some people will stay by your side, but many won't, and you'll realize that each friendship you keep is priceless. Of course, to have a good friend, you must be one. To be a good friend and deepen a friendship to make it last, just follow these steps.
Only make promises you know you can keep. If you say you'll hang out with a friend and a legitimate conflict arises, explain the situation and trust that the friendship is strong enough for the no's as well as the yeses.
You have a responsibility to help your friend be himself or herself, too. Be open to differences in opinion and style - that's what makes friendships interesting.
Be dependable. It's hard to rely on a person who doesn't behave in a consistent and trustworthy way. We all know well-intentioned but flaky people who say, "Okay, I will..." but never follow through. If that's you, know that you're eroding your friends' trust; eventually they'll stop believing what you say.
If you know you were at fault for a missed opportunity, own up. Don't wait until 15 minutes after you were supposed to arrive to call and say, "Something came up." A simple explanation and apology goes a long way. Your friend will most likely appreciate your acknowledgement of his or her feelings.
Be real. Connect with people whom you value on a deep level if you want to have sustainable, long-term friendships. Invest in people you can be yourself around. If your behavior lacks sincerity, your friendship won't last.
Good friendships don't arise from hoping someone else's popularity or networks will rub off on you. If you're trying to be friends with a person just to be accepted into a certain clique, that's not friendship – it's opportunism – and eventually the shallow nature of your involvement will reveal itself.
Be loyal. If your friend tells you something in confidence, keep don't talk about it with anyone else, just as you'd expect your friend to do for you.
TIPS
If you know you were at fault for a missed opportunity, own up. Don't wait until 15 minutes after you were supposed to arrive to call and say, "Something came up." A simple explanation and apology goes a long way. Your friend will most likely appreciate your acknowledgement of his or her feelings.
Be real. Connect with people whom you value on a deep level if you want to have sustainable, long-term friendships. Invest in people you can be yourself around. If your behavior lacks sincerity, your friendship won't last.
Good friendships don't arise from hoping someone else's popularity or networks will rub off on you. If you're trying to be friends with a person just to be accepted into a certain clique, that's not friendship – it's opportunism – and eventually the shallow nature of your involvement will reveal itself.
Be loyal. If your friend tells you something in confidence, keep don't talk about it with anyone else, just as you'd expect your friend to do for you.
TIPS
- You don't have to spend a lot of time and money to be a good friend. The best gifts are often handmade and come from the heart. A phone call can mean as much as a visit.
- Enjoy one another's company. It's not all about bleeding hearts and advice to the lovelorn - or at least, it shouldn't be. Be sure to have fun together and do spontaneous activities now and then. Be a positive force in your friend's life.
- A friend who is only available at school or work is still a friend. Be very glad for that special kind of friendship associated with the place where you share time together.
- If your friend makes a promise and doesn't keep it then don't do the same to them or you will keep repeating the pattern.
- Don't set too many expectations and rules. Allow your friendship to evolve and change naturally.
- Tease friends about something they're proud of. The better you know your friend, the easier it is to find the things they're sensitive about and use teasing to pick them up instead of tearing them down.
- Don't try to be the same as your friend - differences are what make great friends. Plus, it can get irritating. Embrace your differences and be proud of them! Do make sure not to be so different that your friendship breaks.
- Tell your friend how much you appreciate their company or how they were with you when you needed them. It will brighten up their day and affirm your friendship.
- Honest communication is a basic foundation in a friendship. If you and your friend can't talk to each other freely then you are set up for a difficult and possibly doomed relationship.
- Be there for your friend during hard times
